Down with Niko

So, yeah, I picked up my copy of the game that is poised to collapse society as we know it. Grand Theft Auto IV has made its way into my living room, and from there, as I write this at the office, may have already begun to seep under the door and infect an expanding radius of what was once good, decent American culture.

I'm not really exaggerating. Even if you could not possibly care less about video games, you have heard about how awful GTAIV is. This is how it is being presented. Even when journalists try to sound hip and compare the game, rightfully, to past 'scourges' like comic books and rock music, they usually feel the need to toss in some reason why GTA is the exception, the really evil entity, as opposed to those other simply misunderstood paradigms. Here's the L.A. Times critic Tim Rutten, via GamePolitics.com:

One of the hallmarks of a healthy consumer society is that its older generation habitually despises and decries the entertainments of the young. The young, in turn, elevate their aesthetic rebellion to respectability over time…

Where earlier generations of youthful art crossed boundaries… they also affirmed something else, some alternative or countercultural value…

What “Grand Theft Auto IV” affirms is the pleasure of eschewing decency for obnoxious violence.

So is this an accurate depiction of Grand Theft Auto IV? Non-industry critics will likely say yes, but then, non-industry critics have almost universally failed to actually insert the game and play it as it's meant to be played. I put in about two hours last night. Here's what I found.

The story begins with a lavishly produced cinematic sequence, depicting the brutal murder of... no, wait. No brutal murder. Actually, the opening sequence introduces us to the main character, Niko Bellic, as he discusses the politic tensions in his homeland and his reasons for coming to America with a fellow sailor as their ship pulls into Liberty City harbor. No violence at all. Odd.

We are then introduced to Niko's Cousin Roman, who runs a ruthless cartel of.. er, no, wait. He owns a run-down cab company, which is in jeopardy due to some loan sharks he owes money to. We learn that Roman has been exaggerating his success in correspondence to Niko and others back home, and that his situation is less American dream and more American immigrant working-class. Again, no violence.

Soon after, Niko is introduced to Michelle, a friend of Roman's secretary. Immediately they hop into Niko's car and engage in some violent bondage... no, wait. They go bowling. THEY GO FUCKING BOWLING! What the fuck is this? I paid for sex! I paid for violence! I didn't pay to watch a down-on-his-luck immigrant on an awkward but cute bowling date with a woman. They didn't even kiss at the end! What the hell??? Sorry. I just feel that maybe I've been sold something very different from what I now actually own.

Ah, here we go. Finally, Niko, who is now driving cabs for his cousin, gives a ride to a Jamaican fellow who's afraid he's being followed, and gives Niko a gun to cover him. Sure enough, the guy comes under attack, and Niko has to pop some caps in the attackers. Alright, here we go! Carnage! Haha! Pow! Pow pow! Ummmm... really? That's it? Uh... okay.

Now it's time to learn about the police. The in-game tutorial teaches you how to ambush the cops so as... no, wait. It instructs you on how to flee, not on how to fight the cops. Dammit. Cop killing is what this game is supposed to be about, and they have me running away??? This is crazy!

From there, it's more cab-driving, awkward but cute dating, meeting some unsavory characters who wish Roman and Niko harm, and learning more about Niko's troubled history. These characters are very human and deeply complex. The game is far more Goodfellas than Die Hard. It's not for children. Or even young teens. But in some ways, I'm delighted to know that all of these young adults are engaging in this piece of digital storytelling, which is far more profound and thought-provoking than most of the films currently showing at the cineplex.

I played for two hours. Of those two hours, approximately five minutes was spent engaged in any sort of violence. To say that this game offers nothing but an affirmation of obnoxious violence is clearly inaccurate. But then, why be accurate when you can stir controversy.