Embarrassing

The Syracuse Post-Standard, via Syracuse.com, has responded to Governor Patterson's statement of equal rights by posting verbatim the response from the Conservative Party. No other reactions are given. For some reason, the Conservative Party not even been given top billing on this issue, but the only billing. One has to assume, given that fact, the response must be concise and factual.

Of course, one should not assume.

Yesterday, Governor David Paterson declared that New York State must recognize out-of-state gay marriage while the residents of New York State are denied the opportunity to be heard on this subject.
Judges are supposed to interpret the laws as written, Governors are supposed to administer the laws as written and the Legislature writes the laws and so far, they have been silent on this issue. Marriage in New York State is between a man and a woman. The California Judges overturned the will of the California people and Governor Paterson is apparently trying to do the same thing in New York.
- Conservative Party of New York

Hey, you know what would be awesome? If a major newspaper didn't present this information as fact, when it is completely detached from anything approaching reality. Governor Patterson did not declare anything in the formal sense. He simply administered and enforced the law as interpreted by the judges of the New York state appeals court, who determined that refusing to recognize marriages performed elsewhere is a violation of the New York State constitution, which is maintained by the legislature. Every branch acted within its sphere here. Alleging that Patterson is trying to overturn the will of the people is not only irresponsible; it is a complete fabrication. It is a lie. And yet it is the position of the only organization given voice about the matter in the Syracuse Post-Standard.

Unbelievable.

Urgent Briefing From Syracuse

Ah, Syracuse Post-Standard Reader's Page! Have you brought with you a letter to the editor that strains the credulity of its audience regarding the possibility that the author could conceivably be so bleach-drinkingly stupid?

You have? Excellent!

To the Editor:

To Congressman James Walsh:

You made the correct decision for oil drilling in ANWR. I am grateful that the special interest groups no longer can pressure you. There are alternative sources for energy and this is only one. Oil is important for manufacturing of golf balls and a lot of other neat stuff. It is obvious Sen. Charles Schumer and Sen. Hillary Clinton don't play golf!

Peter Salit

Well, there you have it. We need a new energy policy, and that energy policy should be carefully crafted around the dimpled surface of a golf ball.

From Syracuse, With Anti-Intellectualism

Aw, hell, it's a slow morning. Let's make it a twofer.

To the Editor:

I was very concerned to see on the editorial page in your Sunday paper that a high school student who aspires to be a young journalist was so closed-minded. Mr. Cal Thomas did not accuse schools of teaching students to be "gay."

The schools do teach theories that cannot be proven, one of which is evolution; and apparently (from the letter cited) another is that people are born "gay." Both of these are theories that are not provable.

Mr. Cal Thomas and many others believe that the "gay" lifestyle is not acceptable. With a little research, Dani Walters should be able to understand the other side.

I am sorry that our young adults do not research the things that they encounter before they are willing to "spike" the opinions of those that they do not agree with. Dani, to be a good journalist, you will need to look at "both sides of the story." This is the reason many taxpayers are upset with the public schools. We feel our tax dollars are being wasted on a low-standard education for our upcoming leaders.

William Bellows

There's nothing better than an ignorant anti-intellectual lecturing a budding young mind about the dangers of accepting scientific data. With a little research, Dani Walters should be able to understand the other side. With a little more research, Dani Walters should be able to point out that the other side is deluding itself with propagandized fiction.

One of the most prevalent symptoms of anti-intellectualism and unreason in America is the constant misuse of the term theory. If one does not understand the distinction between a scientific theory and a colloquial theory, one should not construct an argument around it. Certainly you shouldn't expect journalists, or even young students of journalism, to take you seriously.

Oh, and of course, I'm certain that Mr. Bellows has a valid point about the state of our educational system. If only we followed the lead of the rest of the world, which has collectively abandoned scientific psychology and evolutionary theory in favor of religious dogma and pseudoscientific nonsense.

From Syracuse, With Stupidity

Checking in on the ol' hometown paper, I turn to the opinion section to see if there are any choice letters to the editor. Am I disappointed?

I am not.

To the Editor:
The director of the FBI said there was an abuse of national security letters. I'd rather have abuse of these letters and keep the country safe, rather than have a terrorist slip under the radar.
I'm not advocating surrendering our civil liberties, but I won't be upset if the FBI goes a little overboard, even if they check on me.
Ronnie Kelley

Ronnie's not advocating surrendering our civil liberties. He's just advocating allowing the FBI to ignore them! C'mon people! Like Patrick Henry was so fond of saying, "Give me liberty, unless of course I might get hurt, in which case give me an autocratic police state!"

There's No Place Like Home

Oh, man... I still can't keep my nose out of the Syracuse Post-Standard opinion pages, and here's a brilliant example of what keeps me coming back.

To the Editor:

"Lolz. Blogs r the gr8est thing Eva! Idk wat I'd do if I couldn't blog evryday!" That's an impression of a chronic blogger.

Bloggers are getting out of control! Even though some may have valid arguments, the majority are just trying to reach out to anyone who agrees with them.

There seem to be blogs for everything: food, Pokemon and everything that has happened in their entire life. People got along just fine for millennia without blogs, so there's no possible way that they could be that important to anyone.

Advice to bloggers: Write a diary! That way, you can pour your heart out without bothering me. If you really need to tell me about your day, call me.

What? You don't know me? Exactly why I do not need to know about you and your day.

If you want to know anything more about me, just read my blog. Just kidding!

Jamie Parmele

Jamie apparently thinks the best way to stop people from expressing personal opinions publicly is to... write a letter to the editor and have his personal opinions published.

People got along fine before newspapers too, Jamie, but that didn't stop you from putting your ill-conceived little thoughts on paper and sending them along, did it?

Advice to Jamie: If you don't like blogs, you might do well to avoid reading blogs. The problem seems to be less about the method other people use as an outlet, and more about the fact that you can't control your web browser.

Also: Never, under any circumstances, explain that you're doing an impression of someone. If it's not obvious, it's not funny. Ever.